Today has not been a day I care to remember. I have fibromyalgia, asthma and allergies, and most of these are giving me hell today. I live with my husband, the father in law, a brother in law, his dog and his tarantula, and my own 3 dogs. I love my husband, he loves me, and he does all he can to make me feel good about the otherwise very uncomfortable situation. I am writing this blog for people who have family issues and are trying to deal with chronic health problems. Please feel free to let me know how you are coping, because I have found myself on the brink this day.

I have no issue with my husband at all, not all all. He is an amazing man that I met 21 years ago. We married about a year later and will soon be married 20 years. I love my in-laws, but we had to let the ones I get along with the least to move in with us a few months ago. The foundation on the house they were renting caved in on them, and they had no place to go, so we let them move in to our brand new 3-bedroom house that we got just last year. All the things that are happening, such as one of them not paying the rent we asked him to, their dog smelling up the house and ruining the carpets, moving the tarantula in without my permission, and both their negative attitudes, are all among the things that are making life very difficult for the both of us to deal with. If I could tell them to move out tomorrow, I would. But neither of them literally have no place to go but a shelter, and because of what I went through when my mom and I were homeless, I don’t ever want to put anyone else in the same situation. That may sound very silly, but I have to live with myself.

How do I deal? I listen to a lot of music. I try to stay gone as much as I can. If I’m sick and I can’t leave, I stay in my bedroom if the pain and the stress is too much to deal with. Some days, I’m actually okay and things are good. The father in law pays his rent, and he cooks and cleans. My only issue with him is that he’s a very negative person, never has anything positive to say, and after awhile it really gets under the skin. I’m sick as it is and I need as much positivity around me as I can. I just walk away when I’ve had enough and try my best to keep my comments to myself, but sometimes that can’t be helped. 

So, I’ve created this blog to help me get this misery out of my system! I need to climb up. It FEELS like I’m going up the downward spiral right now, but I don’t want to acknowledge it. I want to see the sunshine in all of this pain. My muscles feel like they’ve been set afire, even my stomach muscles…so I’m going to close in hopes that folks will read and share and reply.